I'll Wait..

ill wait for you..
i read your blog..
the same post..
over and over again.
and everytime as i was reading..
tears flooded my eyes..
and i don know why..
but i did not cry..
i don know if u still read mine..

mayb no?
mayb yes?
will u still read mine?
supposingly, if ntg bad happened,
2 more days and its our half a year anni..
too bad..
things went wrong..
and we did not even went past the 5th month..
time flies huh?
we've broke up bout 2months?
to be exact.. its the 7th week?
i think.. lost count..

yes.. im too faithful in love..
and everytime i fall out of love..
its just the worst feeling i could ever get..
u said in ur blog.. every couples hate that sentence
"lets be friends"
i myself.. hated it very much too..
it cant he helped but it makes me feel so lost..

was reading ur old post when we was together..
and.. u said..
when we've together, everything feels so right..
etc etc. etc...
and those words u said there..
again.. flood my eyes with tears..
i cant believe that...
now..
your no more a part in my life..

when you wants something so much..
then its up to God to give u or not..
whether im worth it or not..

other than blog..
i don know where can i put my feelings on..
same old grandma stories will get everyone tired
of me and my stories..
so i chose..
not to tell anyone..
keep it all by myself..
and come home...
blog about it..

everywhere i go..
here in KL..
seriously.. everywhere..
leaves a memory of you..
the place i go from morning til night..
till i return back to my own house..
have a memory of you..
and i remembered things that
i din know that i would remember..
random things..
so random that ive nvr tot ill remember them..

today, 26th august..
i wanted to send u a msg..
but i held back.. i typed it.. but i did not send it..
i kept in back in my draft..

"i once told myself that it'll be the last time i'm attaching with you years ago. but years later, i came to a point where im in love again. with you. i don't know how to express how much i love u, how much i realli care, and how much u meant to me. i dont know how.. and perhaps ive shown it the wrong way. But if im allowed to, ill fall for you over and over again."

here.. my super emo post.. i don know why but i feel so..
living without you.. is not like the world's ending..
living without you.. is like ive lost a part of myself..
feeling disabled..
yes.. i do have frens... but the feelings given..
is not the same..

and here.. its 2 months ago..
my eyes will still flood with tears..
even this very moment..
just wana say..
i love u so much..
and i wan u to be a part of me as well..
i love u so so much...
yes.. this may sound fake...
but i just do..
i just love you..

perhaps, u've erased me off..
forgotten bout me..
i don know..
i wana get you back..
so so much...

- I Wanted To.. But I Have No Bravery To -

ive got so much more to blog about..
i don know..
it seems like ive got a whole train of feelings..
so so so much to be told..
so so so much to be expressed..
so so so much that is hidden..
i should stop here...

- KayLix @ Till Love Meet Me Again -