no love

since there's no love...
there's ntg much to talk about or to hold on already..
don remind me anymore....
i don wana be remembered....
i don wana be an obstacle for u to move on with ur life..
i don wan to be a burden that u cant let go...
just cut this crappy idiot out from ur life...
don care if im happi
or am i able to let u go or not....
there's no love... just let me be...
whoever i wan to be....
what i want to do...
it doesnt realli matter...
there's already no bond between us...
so why wana make urself worry over some passer by?
why?

-KayLix-

Everything I Do?

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

in love with this song..
gonna post lots of song lyrics..
since i got ntg much to blog for the moment... =D
darn.. blogging had became my habit...!
people said that things that we do 7days in a row
frequently will become out habit...
hahah.. its my habit now...
no matter how tired i am...
im still goonnnnaaaa blogg... =P

-KayLix-

=)

don know what else to blog about....
mayb stuff i saw is just real?
hahaha... over sensitive and over creative...
what to do...
based on my 40 pages of gesture drawings...
i can just have a guess where both the hands leans on....
just put a full stop here...
stop it right here and then....
thats all...
good luck
and above all...
i wish u love =D
take good care and stay faithful and happi
yea what i cock about may not be true...
so... just leave it.. its my blog so gonna talk bout my point of view...
lol.... if not? ur point of view??
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
tonight we dine in hell!!!!

-KayLix-

Low Life

Lord, please give this Low-Life creature like me a peace of mind...
i wana to be happi cause she'll be happier if she sees that im happi...
i don wan her to live in guilt...
i don wan her to live in suffering...
im very tired...
i cant seems to be happi no matter how positive i try to be...
sun foo...
i know she's unhappi as well..
if i can do something just to make her happi,
ill try my best to do it...
both party happi.. how good...
i cant seems to hide my feelings for her...
everyday is passing just like that...
hoping that there'll be a breakthrough for the both of us...
both start a new life... and just leave the past behind...
i may not worth any1's love..
but not her...
pls.....
i don wana see her suffer anymore...
and i don wana suffer as well...
pls.....
plsss plssss
have mercy on a low life humble creature like me......
i dono where else to go to...
i am indeed unhappi....
i am... how tough it is to put a mask all over my scars....
pls give me my strength to do so.....

-KayLix-

nothing else to blog...

nothing else to blog lurr....
be normal lur..
get attached and get over it...
find another love.. and thats the end of it...
weeeeeeee....
don and cant be sad no matter what...
cuz i don have any feelings....
feeling slightly lighter...
but ada keberatan to do so...
that hwo things are meant to be...
finally.. i see it...

-KayLix @ LoveIt-

true feelings..

ok.. what im thinking now...
im bit drunk so what i say gonna's be quite true as well..
i think...
well its almost a month since i last saw u...
and i still rmb what u wore the last time i saw you...
tho its only 3hours being together...
i still rmb every part of it clearly...
baby... i know i shouldnt be calling u this..
but to me.. ull alwiz be my baby...
had a chat wit my buddy juz now...
3 bottles of carlsberg...
yeah.... i vomited during the "bottoms Up..."
all out was gas.. and some watery stuff??
i first i tot that getting drunk will be alot better...
ends up.. im not that drunk and i don realli get over what happened...
so forget bout it...
getting drunk is not a solution... not at all..
still the empty feelings lingers upon me...
the regrets...
the lost.. and the love...
i had... ive nvr been in love
like the way i had on u...
you ask me to relax and chill....
its not that easy my dear...
itsnot that easy...
nvr that easy....
never ever be that easy....
never....

-KayLix-

1 thing

1 thing im still clear...
I love you...

2nd thing im clear of..
I misses u...

3rd thing...
i wana be with u so we can continue what we started...

4th thing...
i am willing to change for a better me.. real this time...

5th thing....
is there any chance by so?

eventually

eventually we will forget bout each other...
or already had...
just leave it???
leaving me regretting till the end of my life..
that i nvr try to do anything to set everything back..
just leave it...
eventually...
hopefully that i might get over it..
over u.. and over all the memories....
i don know why...
am i still this freaking emo...
sitting here... even i had a day of laughter...
and all... i feel that..
all this is so fake.. perhaps i might be faking it out as well..
i don know.. i don feel a thing...
just.. speechlesss...

FUCK

fuck it..
today's feelings aint good at all..
jus fuck it....
can someobdy just murder me or what fuck?
frens talk behind my back......
ex gf do sumting else behind my back...
wtf?? fuck all those people...
HATE IT...
im starting to get so disappointed in my life..
so fucking hate it....
so fucking tired of it....
just everything bring disappointment....
EVERYTHING........
fine... ill just trust MYSELF....
depend on MYSELF....
JUST FUCK THIS LIFE...
JUST FUCK IT... IM GETTING REALLI FED UP WITH IT....
FUCK IT!

Coldplay - The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

5th

well.. its the 28th of july...
yea... 28th of july...
what is so special about today??
im here to say that.. its not special...
its nothing special to anyone...
not special in any sense to anyone...
but its special to me...
so special that... i don know what reaction should i give...
upon this day... this 28th...
its a very special yet a very sad day??
i think about this time,
exactly 5months ago....
special stuff did happened...
in my life...
guess what....
if there's no1 who knows whats happening,
its my 5th month anniversary...
(supposingly)
yea... supposingly...
but... yeah.. we din made it...
but 28th will remain to be the special day in my life...
and why do stuff that was supposed to be delivered
last week made it today...
as i was outside iwth my frens..
i got a phone call that the stuff's been delivered...
i was like come on... what else can i say??
other than "thank you"
now.. im feeling darnnnn unhappi....
5months... things happened...
come and go...
and it was all so fast....
and i would consider it slow too..
its as like... its been years...
YEARssss... YEARSssss....
what should i be feeeling now??
teach me... i wanted to overcome this
feeling as well...

-KayLix-

rest

i guess i had enuf of rest... for the moment?
altho i did not sleep for bout 40 hours.. lol..
i did not sleep much as i just slept for bout 9 hours...
im feeling not bad...
just that a bit of sorethroat and
abit heaty..
feeling hot so n so...
do not want to sleep so much...
wastes my time...

hmmm...
i still look at our photo everyday...
tho its not in my phone anymore,
i still view thru my comp everyday...
i know... but i just wanted to look at them...

missing u.

-KayLix-

SleeeEEpppZzzz

there's this joker..
i don have the idea where the hell he came from..
from india i guess..
addded via castle age...
he asked "tell me something bout japan"
i was like.. wtf?
ive nvr even been to japan...
nvm cut that dickhead out...
back to topic...

dono how long since i slept...
but my body's tired.... mind's still awake....
how long can i stay in this state?
i was like.. so worn out....
so so so worn out....
i tried to sleep juz now...
bt i cant seems to fall asleep...
mayb.. again.. im worrying too much... =/
so be it la... thats the me...
thats the me u couldnt accept...
mayb? who knows.. lol...
so im quite done with my assignments already...
after proposal tomorrow my load's gonna get lighter...
way way lighter... except for my human figure sketching and my TYPO...
damn typo...

hmmm.. mayb im still day dreaming...
day day day dreaming...
wishing and dreaming for something that would not possibly happen?
perhaps... i dont know....
i missed u... and i've been worrying bout u as well... so..
im passing my days like normal days...
and i can sleep even better now...
God knows why...
mayb im just too tired NOT to fall asleep...
but i cant sleep now!!!!!!
im currently sick but i cant fall asleep..!!
overdose of both nicotine and caffeine i guess...
body's tired...
my mind's playing games again...

baby....
u know what? i still care bout u like how i used to be...
and i still love u like how i used to love...
urmmm...
come on...
whats the use of telling all these???
=)
get enuf sleep and rest well....
take care love.. =)

it hurts

it hurts to see u like that...
don care...
heal by itself...
pls take care of urself..
u promised that u will at least take care of urself...
it hurts...
i just wana be with u and take care of u if i have the opportunity to...
aihz..

tired...

currently im freaking tired....
realli realli freaking tired as i rushed the whole night for the damn assignment..
and what... i drank like 3 cups of coffee??
2 from McD...
purchase anything from McD can get free Mcsausage burger...
not bad huh.. sat there for quite some time with my fren to take a rest from the assignment...
im realli tired..
and my mind cant stop thinking bout u...
perhaps the thing ive been asking myself whether i love or hate u,..
i think.. that im still in love wit u..
as deep as ever tho situations wont allow us to be together...
but... im missing u day and night...
i can confirm it... i realli missed u alot..
tho what i blogged before sounds realli unpleasant,
but i don know what im trying to do with my blog...
who cares...
at least i get to release my feelings...
hmmm.. better than realeasing all of it on u...
hmmm...
i wanted to ask u so much bout...
why cant u slp....?
hows ur life...?
how are u doing...?
how are u coping with your assignments...
do u still rmb me...
do u actually hate me for what i blogged...
*if u ever read it*
whatever.. i din expect aything at all baby...
just dreaming a sweet dream would be sufficient for me
ya.. im a stupid and a dumb guy..
theres even people say...
ur not my kind...
but IMO, what is who's kind?
it all depends on how we take things...
where our commitments are...
im getting realli tired..
im half sick but i still din realli get to sleep..
and yet.. my mind's alwayz thinking bout u.. all the time...
everytime... everyday.. every second... every blink of an eye...
yea i missed u...
hows u and the guy u admire is going along....
and i hope that there's none.. but...
i don think i can ask all these things anymore?
seems that uve already forgotten?
bt nvm... hope u can go on with ur life happily...

loads love n misses...

-kayLix-

2nd week

hmmm guess what...
its been 2 weeks since our break up...
feels like its been quite some time...
its been years or whatever it is...
ya.. IVE been blogging heavily lately...
44 post since JULY?
this one's 45th...
too bad... ive been feeling realli emotional lately...
ya.. combination of hate and love at the same time...
how good can it be?
its the best and the worst feelings mixed up together...
like coke + coffee??
i have sleepless nites too....
ahhhh just sorry for wadeva i posted in bloggie...
if u ever read it... just sorry..
din mean to make u feel more guilty..
just that...
i hate/love you... i cant realli figure it out yet....
2 weekss...

-KayLix-

I Cant

i cant stand the pain...
it hurts...
i hate it the pain so much that it had broke me
down emotionally...
i cant stand the pain...
it gives me nightmares...
it gives me pain...
it plants a fear in me....
it leaves a scar in me....

i cant stand the pain...
i just cant....
why am i faking everything out...
why..... i cant stand it anymore....
pls.... just let go of me.....
pls... i don wish to go on my life with all these.....
im scared.....
pls.... just leave me alone....
im trying all i can get to it off me... but i stil cant...
i tried to fool around...
i cant...
i tried to hate u...
i cant...
i tried not to think bout it...
i still cant...
help me... pls....
pls.. pls.... pls....... i hate all this....
im afraid of all this..........

How Can This Happen To Me?

ya.. thinking of how can this happen to me...
its like i believe alot in KARMA... what goes around surely comes around..
but ive nvr do things like that why shud i get it??
dam stupidddd lorrr....
but i believe in the KARMA....
u deserve so much more of ur past...
and u deserve even more than that...
i mean its not even enough...
ya.. be a slave or maid to sum1 else..
cuz ur jus treating urself like that..
a **** slave...

the deeper love i had...
the deeper hatred i have...

the deeper hatred i had...
the deeper love i have as well...

so is this still the love or even hatred??
i myself is already confusing myself.....
i hate that i love you...
i hate that i once loved you...
i hate that i still love u now....
i mean like... just FUCK OFF.....
to both of us....

-KayLix-

at least...

at least i can hold my head up high and say
that im faithful to the one i love... altho i might not threat them well,
at least im still faithful....
can u..?

I fall asleep by the telephone
It’s two o’clock and I’m waiting up alone
Tell me, where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss but it just don’t feel the same
Cause I can feel that you’re gone
I can’t bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories, but don’t take me for a fool

You can tell me that there’s nobody else (but I feel it)
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself (but I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know
Your love is just a lie
It’s nothing but a lie

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah, you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you
And do you think about me when he f**ks you?
Could you be more obscene?
So don’t try to say you’re sorry, or try to make it right
And don’t waste your breath because it’s too late, it’s too late

You can tell me that there’s nobody else
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know
Your love is just a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)
It’s nothing but a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)
You’re nothing but a lie

my world may seems quite empty now.. but im gonna do my best to make the best out of it WITHOUT you as well.. why be emo over someone who don realli give a damn bout me..

-KayLix-

Sore Throat...!

went out yamcha til 3.30 juz now.. reached home bout that time...
quite tired but i cant seems to fall asleep...
and i wonder where's my brother...
he is not home yet! its 4!
hmmm.. don care.. so ill continue blogging...
eyes tired.. mind's energetic...
brain's starting to malfunction... body's hot...
throat's KILLING me...
yea.. sore throat.... dammnnn pain....
and...
i hate myself for loving you...
even now...
yea.. its the past... but the feelings still hold on to me this moment...
as fresh as ever...
its FRESH....
mayb its already rotten issue for u...
forgotten how things used to be...
forgetting how this started...
but nvm... im not that sad anymore...
y should i get so sad???
wasting my tears for somebody like u???
leaving me when there's troubles???
do as u like... u like to dump all sort of things to people...
unsettled... and leave it there...
simply a word Like "im not worth and i don love u anymore"
could juz dump a pack of big rubbish to sum1 else...
ya i admit i din settle any probs before, but at least i din dump the whole
fucking big pack of rubbish to someone else...
at least i din **** sum1 else?
nvm.. it wont cause u any hurt as well..
mayb for others yes..
certainly not you...
who cares???
even if i do...
SO WHAT????
yea rite... so what....
lying to myself...
so what.......
i don expect u to read this blog anymore... who cares...
i don...
do i???

-KayLix-

answers found!!

googled about the dream and found some answers...

brain

To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.

To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.

of your brain, suggests that you

To see yourself in your dream, is a reflection of how you act and behave in your waking life.

are under severe intellectual stress.


Cancer

Dreaming of cancer is not necessarily a negative thing and does not mean that you have or will have cancer at any time. However, to dream of cancer often indicates an unfortunate condition in your life that has been consuming you physically, mentally, or emotionally for too long.

Dirt

Decayed dirty or crumbling buildings indicate that your self-image has suffered. Get your hair done, buy a new outfit and treat yourself to a few activities that make you feel good about yourself.

Cat

1. Love, loyalty, beauty.
2. Fierce defense of loved ones or pursuit of something desperately desired.
3. Royalty; godliness; a keeper of hidden knowledge.
Astrological parallels: Venus, Taurus.

Operations

Dreams of this type will be fairly common among the medical practitioners, but among the rest of us undergoing such an operation can be a harbinger of a drastic lifestyle change, whether good or bad will be determined by the rest of the dream. To watch an operation you will soon hear some news from a family member or a friend, if the operation was a success it will be good news, but, if not it will be bad news.

Found no answer on the CLEAN WHITE SURGERY ROOM.

nvm.. what i found out is quite true as well...

and there's someone saying i look so pale...

how much better can i be? like u?

hmmm not to mention bout it anymore... jus fine...

-KayLix-

nightmare...

as i was taking my nap,
it all goes very well.. except for my back..
sunburn konon... sakit tu...
so i slept on my side...
den i fall asleep la of cuz...
slept for like an hour..
den a koko fren called.. ask me out..
din go out la.. dam tired.. hahaha
so i continue sleep...
WTF
a stupid and scary dream came to me...

i was in a HOSPITAL... looking at my own head x-ray...
ok.. guess what... its a tumour on my freaking brain and
I NEED AN URGENT operation...
so i was transfered to another place by my dream...
its another place and its so FREAKING DIRTYYYYYY.....
and the place's full of CATS... ewww i hate cats...
and i saw a cat poke another man's eyes...
i was like "wtf?? is this place im going to do my operation...?"
yea its dirty wtfed etc etc...
there and then, i entered my room... and i found that.. its bright clean...
its so clean that... it hurts my eyes... den i saw the bed im suppose to lie on...
the doctor gave me 3 sleeping pills... and..
I WOKE UP....
went for dinner.. LOL..
what does that dream means?
its quite strange...
dirty... cats... clean...
goonna google bout it.. LOL

-KayLix-

Jumper - Third Eye Blind

Jumper
Songwriters: Jenkins, Stephan;

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong

You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well, everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

And well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here

And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today we can put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand, I would understand

I would understand
I would understand
Understand

Can you put the past away?
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand



weeeeeeeeee~

conversation...

while searching for assignment files inside my comp.. guess what i found...
i found the conversation we had.. and i read it all the way through....
things ive said...
things ive done...
things ive suspected...
things ive scold......

cant help it but feeling helpless now....
how much i hate myself...
how much i got angry with myself....
just...
as u said...
1 second... i wanted u back so badly...
1 second... im talking bout u and ur life...
and another im talking another thing.....
why must u go thru all these???
u don deserve all these...
u deserve someone better than me...
even if i get u back, will i treat u better??
will i start to trust u jus a little more??
will i even care and appreciate u more???

u asked me...
i questioned you...
u love me...
i suspected you...
u care for me...
i said ur fan....
u give me the best...
i said i felt nothing...
u give ur time...
i said its not even enough...
u give me urself...
i did not appreciate it...

FUCKING LOSER i am......

If...

IFs is the word that most of us use when we're regretting over something...
or even for some mistakes...
even breaking someone's heart...
but imagine...
we were wish that "if" i did not so so etc etc...
simply means that i wish i could turn back time and not did those things..

but the truth is.. time cannot be turned back...
its against the law of God..
and ur trying to "play-God"
so..
IF the word "IF" could be used.. i don think there'll be anyone who learns from their lessons in life...
jus a simple word "IF" could mend back every mistakes they had done...
even i myself had those thinking of IF....
yeah.. its hypocrite.. i know...
but to think of it properly,
if the word "IF" would be so effective..
there will be no mistakes on this earth where
EVERYONE is so PERFECT...
just made a mistake... and simply use the word "IF"
*POOF* everything's undone again...
there will be no SENSE of APPRECIATION....
AGREED??

life is about accepting imperfect things,peoples and even circumstances...
i know.. who doesnt know that? sometimes it our 7 deadliest sin that causes
us to do so..

WRATH - means anger... temper... HOT tempered.. yea me here.. lol.. i admit it.. but.. its a very dangerous SIN to commit in... if we cant control our temper, we cant be successful.. in everything we have.. relationships.. works or whatever... everything will be gone.. if u simply releases ur wrath.. scaring the shit out of people away.. haha

LUST - we lust for sex etc etc.. a sense of belonging or jus hunger for it.. and most of the people living on this earth have it..

PRIDE - everyone have their own pride... big or small.. everyone does... if not, why would be people boasting? biggest sin that causes the angel of worship to become the main enemy of God...

GREED - greed.. in this generation this juz a very common sin.. everyone wants everything.. they wan to have to prettiest chics... the biggest.. etc etc.. greed is wanting something that others have that u dont..

ENVY - yes this is it... jealousy... this is the worst things that can happen to someone's life.. we can be jealous of everything... y they had it better... y they can do better... in fact.. it wont help a thing being jealous... juz APPRECIATE what you have... before u lose whatever ur holding in ur palm...

GLUTTONY - the lust for food... yes... "wai sek" is a sin too... because if we cant control our diet, there's juz more things that we cant control.. hahaha.. so if ur overweight... rethink bout it.. its NOT GOOD... even for ur own health... its all right to enjoy all the best food.. its juz how u consume it.. LOL

SLOTH - laziness... laziness is a SIN... ITS A SIN!!! being lazy makes urself unworthy of everything in the world... yes.. laziness.. what does lazy people get??? nothing... they're juz too lazy for everything...
-
-
-
-
how PRIDE can be the main sin...
lets further examine.. hmm

PRIDE.. lets make a story out of it...
bored and fed up of assignment.. lol..
lets start with PRIDE..

PRIDE.. we trust so much in ourselves that we don even need anybody to be there for us... believing too much in ourselves... when the time they cant meet what they expected, there comes ENVY.. we envy of what others can do... reaching ur goals that u couldnt.. of course.. there would be ANGER upon ourselves... ahhhhh just fuck it.... no idea for any story.......
FUCK IT FUCK IT...

missing u <3

-KayLix-

dreams..

what do dreams really mean??
had alot of weird dreams lately...
oh yea.. we had another arguement last nite...
i don even what it was for...
but luckily i managed to sleep quite well..
juz that when i woke up i felt quite dizzy..
God knows why...
ahhhh....
u said u wont view my blog anymore...
so... i dono lar...
but i wanted to tell u how i feel everyday ...
hapi times.. sad times...
u know i wont be telling u via chatters...
the oni place u'll know is thru blog...
and i wan u to view my blog...
seriously i do... =(

gonna pump assignment the whole day...

hopefully we'll have some time to chat later...

-KayLix-

WEED

WEED ANYONE???

today

today is the day....
that i have the thought of u again...
show me how much i missed u...
but today im not that emo either...
hmmm... miss u....
that the only word i can say...

talking to a classmate of mine now...
she said that... "they can feel my change"
lets further investigate this case.. lol..
korekking her now.. bwahahahahah...
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ok.. answer to that case...
said that standing nex to me..
i releases a very EMO aura lol..
okay.. let me rethink of this situation....
i don sense it... lol...
she says.. its the dark side of me...
macam ANIME/MANGA ni...
what to expect from a ANIME kaki.. rite??

i did my presentation quite normal la..
like those presentations i had b4...
title's "Men Should Be Househusband"

tho i lied alot during the presentation,
it seems that the tutor is quite interested in it..
hahaha...

yeah.. talking to a fren...
xx said... we arent meant for each other...
hmmm finally the truth is revealed....
ALL THE TRUTHS....
ALL THE TRUTHS....
ALL THE TRUTHS....
ive nvr been told...
ive been lied of...
hmmm getting emo back now...
but what can it be???
its already too late...
din know there would be this much of lies ffrom u...
din expected it...
suen la...
what to do................
happened anyway....
don have to mood to blog at all d....

nites

-KayLix-

i fucking hate nightmares...... fucking.... hate.... it.....

Here

im sitting here...
in front of the square box and my tears begin to flow again...
i don even know...
why i repeat the same step almost everyday...
to me.. letting go someone i love...
it takes years for me to do so...
i've even take bout 3yrs plus to let go of somebody i love...
putting a substitute there juz to replace her...
makes me an idiot...
total idiot...
but still..
im missing you...
and the things i remember now is those times we had together...
everywhere i go here in kl...
leave a mark in the past relationship we had...
now ur far away... physically and ur heart...
is so far away.. that i cant get it back anymore...

"AKU MENYESAL TLH MEMBUATMU MENANGIS
DAN BIARKAN MEMILIHKAN YANG LAIN
TAPI JGN PERNAH KAMU MENDUSTI TAKDIRMU
PASTI ITU TERBAIK UNTUKMU"

im not the one for u...

i was thinking of going to singapore to work and study in time to come...
after my diploma perhaps... still thinking...

im still missing u..

Feelings

what am i even thinking or feeling now....
i know wanting u back is near to impossible...
u cant accept it... i know it...
but this is just what i feels...
seriously, i don realli know what do i want or feel now...
i feel realli realli realli disappointed and sad.....
surprisingly... im not even agnry at all...
but who cares....
juz fuck it.. right???
thats what you would say....
the past is the past.. gone and gone...
never and never again....
ive been having nightmares...
nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night...
looking around...
its dark and cold...
wanted someone to hug as i sleep....
mayb u already had 1....
but for me....
im still too afraid to indulge myself into those situations anymore...
i can play... but whats the point being together with someone with i don realli like or love??
i find it pointless....
whats the answer for Kenangan Terindah + Nightmares...
answer = ??????
i seriously donot know what i can feel now....
yes.. sorry is what you would say...
and its accepted... u know...
i din hate nor got angry with u...
i just got realli disappointed....
sad and down...
life o life....

-KayLix-

Kenangan Terindah

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun
aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

so stop hurting those people you think you love and make yourself worth their love...
love yourself... not in a selfish way...
but at least appreciate yourself...
off to college i go =D

*KASTURI's CLASS ONLY MA.. NO ND GO SO EARLY ONE"

ps : i have not forgotten bout u.. ull stay here in my <3..

fears

its eaten me up bit by bit....
and my whole LOVE dream...
its gonna come to a past really soon...
im afraid...

im afraid...

Date

28th February 2010
the day i found LOVE...

12th July 2010
the day LOVE left me...

19th July 2010
the day i started to be afraid in LOVE...

Bothering Me

what u told me last nite really bothers me....
i don und why it happened...
and i know it happened...
but what can i do???
hating someone is not easy...
hating someone is harder than anything else...
first of all, hating people makes one's life tougher to go....
things did happened no matter what and there are no chance to undo it...
so just let it be...
mayb our love was just an accident....
a mistake that we both made again...
a mistake that turns out hurting us both again....
ive got no way not to think about it...
it just left a deep cut inside my heart...
the feeling of being dare to love someone again...
i don dare... i don want to....
cause all i get is just a deep cut...
i don wana be hurt anymore.....
im so afraid of this feeling.....
i hate this feeling but certainly not you....
pls... be a better person in future...
no matter who your with...
don hurt them anymore....
they might not know what happened...
but can are u okay with it???
are u gonna live the rest of ur life with full of regrets??
don be.... cause i don wana see u like that.....
mayb the conversation we had yesterday will the last....
the one and only last until time heals....
Time Needs Healing...
Healing Needs Time...

take care of urself and ur own image properly...
just be with who ur happi with =D
here i wish u all the best in life...
i don think i will be blogging this much already...
all the best... take care and start loving urself and ur own image...
the greatest love of all is with starting to love urself...
altho im very sad... but its time for me to LET GO...
i don wana hang on to the bitter past...
its BITTER....
for my own good...
or as u said...
i have to move on....
hoping that ill find my true love soon...
and urs too...
til then.... Goodbye....
this is the saddest farewell ever.....
For the last time...
i love u...

-KayLix-

change

ive been hurt.. the most in my life...
i don know that.. ill be hurt in this way as well...
why does it happen.. its both of our fault as well...
what i can realli hope now..
is nothing else but a change in ur life...
loving urself... take care of ur own image..
love ur own body.. and learn to respect...
what LOVE is.. i know...
magic will not work between us anymore..
but i just wan u to learn to respect the little thing called LOVE..
whatever ur decision is..
just remember.. think about urself first...
think about those who care and love u...
i believe u can change for a better you...
i believe u can change for a happier you...
LOVE is not about "it"... but its a feeling and emotion...
i still cant understand stand why it happens..
and it hurts most...
and thats certainly not the right way to get love....
i don know why ur like this either...
so... be a good girl and live like a good girl... a nice sweet girl....

its been a week.. since we broke up...
it already seems like its a year... or more...
its been so long since i last saw u...
ive been living without ur week for a week....
yea... its just a week... what can a week do??
its.. long.....
since i held ur hands...
since i hugged u...
since i kissed u...
since i smelled u....
its been a week.....
ish..
why the hell my did tears suddenly drop at no where when im blogging...
its hard.... for me...
what i can do is just wait till the day comes...
when the final decision is here....
as i did the stuff juz now....
i don know wad else to think about...
and even i went playing badminton..
and we had dinner at SS 2,
theres memories of u there as well...
we went there for lunch... after church SIBKL...
things ive nvr tot i would rmbered...
i remembered....

i don know wad else to blog..........
all i can conclude is...
im missing u................

-KayLix-

Need You Now

going for a badminton session later and then gonna come back and continue with my work.. too bad all the bookshop in TBR is NOT OPEN.. dono where the hell im gonna get those materials now... dammmmmm.... i need u now =)
yeah it a quater after 1... a quarter after 1 P.M... lol


Need You Now

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Loving From A Distance..

This will be seriously hard for me to do...
or i might even fail it..
but just have a thinking bout it...
cuz i misses u jus so dam freaking MUCH....
alot of questions...
Is showing our love so important?
ive just found out that if we realli love them,
we dont realli need to show them.
all we can do is just love them from a distance.
being there for them whenever they need us.
praying for their safety and happiness.
wishing that they'll get the best of life..
praying that they will finally find some1 they truely love...
altho "kau yang terindah dalam hidup aku"
and i know seeing u happi is worth all the pain we go thru...
ull alwiz remain as one "the terindah one"

so here i am.. wishing u get the best of ur life..
and knowing ur directions in life...
what you really need and dont..
think before you do or accept any1..
cause i don wana see u get hurt anymore...
there's things i might not be there to protect u..
but certain things i can..
guess ill just stop bugging u..
if there's any chance u would give me,
ill be here to gladly accept it..
ill be waiting for it..
so live happily and have the best of life..

-KayLix-

Anonymous
A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

IFs

"overdose"... vomited like a retard....
almost everyday.... yes.. indeed retard....

back in my own house... room-alone after yamcha wit DJ n ian...
wondering why other people can mend back their relationship...
no matter what had happened... but not me...
thx ian... ill do as wad u say.... at least i wont regret about it someday...
there's so many "if 's' " in my mind...

if i haven treated u that way, it wont be like this..
if i werent this controlling, it wont happen...
if i din say words like that, it wont happen too...
so many IFs...
if u miss me, why don u say so?
if u love me, why don u say so?
if u long for me, why don u say so?
if u juz wana hear from me, why don u say so?

its i myself i cant forgive actually...
its i myself i hated....
its i myself i failed to love...
its i myself.. who put an ending like this...

i jus hate myself....


i juz threw away the best thing in my life....
i hate myself for it.............
i cant forgive myself for being a stupid idiot....
i cant forgive myself for wanting u back when i treated u like that last time....
I HATE I.... MYSELF...

-HateMyself-

somebody juz make me cry pls

open

i din mean that i was saying ur selfish....
i juz wan u to open ur heart again.....
open to this imperfect person...
open to this stubborn-headed person...
open to this stupid guy.....
open to this dumbo u've calledd....
open to this regretting heart caused by himself....
open to this life that has no colour in it..........
open to this ass that tries to work out things....
open to this idiot that hurt u... but not anymore.....
open to this idiot that uve started to hate.....

你用唇语说你要离开

if i could let go by just saying it,
then i don love u enuf.. nor worth ur love...
if ur searching for freedom rather than anything else, then just let it be....
im emotionless... whatever i said, ull juz say treat it as im selfish or wrong or what...
what do u mean by those words?? i don und it...
yea im stupid trying things that will only worsen things...
at least i tried.... and i tried to get back the one i love...

till now... u still don wan me in ur life.... ur rather much happier without me...

should i let go seeing the situation like this?
do u wan me to let go??
are u already forgetting bout me???
have u even forgotten what missing me is like???

baby...........
im beyond words to blog or say.......
baby....
im juz hoping ull really know how i feel.... instead of saying that its all ur fault....

sorry for trying to make u feel the true happiness ive given u again...
things are not easy especially with the one u truly love.....

do u know that i love u alot?
do u know that im willing to gives u all u need u know??

5th

its the 5th day..
as the feeling of missing u gets deeper n deeper..
i get jealous because i loved too much....
i get angry because everything u do is important to me....
i wanted to keep msging u is bcuz i don have to chance to see u....
every chance i have, ill surely go back to find u....
i did not stop u from going out.... bcuz u want to....
seriously, i did not stop u from going out....
wherever u wanted to go... ill juz say a yes.....
once being together with u brings me pride because you are beautiful....
beautiful in a sense not only from appearance....
from what i see, ur just beautiful...
days might had been down without u....
and i missed u....
i missed tutti....
i missed u calling me hubby....
i missed the chance i might nvr get back....
i wanted to get u before any1 else does....
i don wana regret for life bcuz of losing u....
to the world u might be only one person, but to me ur the world...
no matter where u are...
how far the distance... meeting u at least twice a month is already enuf...
of cuz i wished for more...
i wan more of u...
i wan ur love....
im hungry for ur love....
im love's lost without u....
im lost without u.....
if i were to kneel down and say sorry and ask u to be with me again,
will u??
im jus missing u....
im waiting.. waiting for the day ull say yes to me again...
life without ur voice... is playing an instrument without a band....
no purpose.. doing everything alone...
i wana work out things with u asap...
cuz waiting kills me...

i love u baby girl...

-KayLix-

as i woke up... im trying to look for u..
i don even know y i did that....
i miss u...

Feelings

fucked up day

assignment

- tutor : yang, i like ur work... can u do 1 more piece so i can give u more marks????

swimming

- dah la nak kita swim kao kao... nak kita swim 7 lap... i dah siap 6 lap... takpe...
after that nak life saving konon..... pun takpe.... i pun try n save la.. din know tat..
i manage to save him n myself... when trying to get up the pool and drag him up, "PAK" my toe hit hardly on the cement side... at first i tot its okay... nothing one.. so i dragged him up...
den i have a look at my toe... cibai... bleeding... takpe... bengkak pun... straight stop swimming and went to bath.. left early.. and drive home... kaninah.... pain lan dou...

reached home...
sitting there looking around and have a crazy idea of drawing sumting... den of course i browse for pics to draw... den completed it.. NICELY... the first best human face ive drawn in my life...
seriously it is.. leaving it in my sketchbook thinking of what to do next... frame it n give u? i think so..

ends here...

-KayLix-

i don wana close my eye and i don wana miss a thing

nice

i drew this for u instead i wrote this for u by "khalil - sing along song"
=P
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izit recognizable?? LOL i don even know it

....

i miss u...
to me, not thinking bout u is realli hard...
it might be hard or easy for u.. i don know...
cuz u seems like u wudnt care much anymore...

Two Is Better Than One lyrics

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey
You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes, the way you say
You make it hard for breathing

'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking, ooh
I can't live without you
'Cause baby, two
Is better than one

There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I figured out with all that's said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

Jusco

when i was shopping in jusco with my brother a moments ago, the song "2 is better than 1" comes into play.. then thought of u came in my mind again...

its still clearly fresh in my mind..
the first day.. u wore a black I <3 MNG tank top...
we were at the wangsa walk mall.. buying a bouquet of flowers to ur sister..
and tats the time where i have a thought.. wow this girl... u sure she's mine?
dreams after dreams came into play...
and we stayed together for bout 3 months...
tho its not a long journey through, but it seems like its almost years ive been with the girl ive been so in love with.. and now.. its already the 4th day since our break up.. and it seems its been so long since i got ur care ur comfort and ur warmth..

i miss those feelings being able to linger around u..
i juz missed it so dam badly..
and now.. im juz afraid that ill be too late for u...
i juz wana be wit u now so badly...
i don wana regret for the rest of my life..
yes others might say, how many more girls are there in this whole wide world?
but i can say that.. there's no other girls like u...
ur special in ur own way..
so sad that i didnt appreciate it at first...
is that too late to appreciate now??
is that still an answer to that question??

u said ur happier to be single now...
don u miss our times together? at all?
not even a single moment of them?
not even a second of it?
but im glad that at least ur happi..
but im not... i can fake a smile outside.. but i still feel very very empty deep down inside..
i hope time can fly to the day ull accept me to begin "chasing" u again... not being together with u.. but just the time im "chasing" u and ur giving me a hope to it..

2 is better than 1? yes.. i totally agree..

love n miss u baby girl...
i wana love u again..
i wana protect u again..
i wana make u laugh again..
i wana put a smile in ur face again..
i wana take away all those hurts ive caused..
i wana be wit u again..
i wana be someone who matters to u again..
i wana be someone special to u again..

-KayLix-

Questions

been thinking a few question for myself to answer today....

Q1 : Do i love my temper more than i love u?
A : realized

Q2 : if someone were trying to harm u, should i comfort or protect u first or should i look for revenge first?
A : answered

Q3 : Is Love giving u a freedom or is it holding u back from doing everything and juz stay with me?
A : realized

Q4 : is being possessive over u bring u closer to me or further?
A : realized

Q5 : Can i love u once more?
A : answered

Q6 : can u give me one more chance?
A : i have to fight for it

<3

-KayLix-

dreams..

everywhere i go, it seems that your shadow is beside me...
whatever i do, it seems that ur eyes is watching upon me...
every conversation i had, i heard a soft voice of urs...
every dream i dreamt of, i saw u...

im not crazy bout u..
its juz pure Missing You...
and what now.. im officially missing u...

i found that realizing my mistakes is not enuf...
i know ure giving me time to ponder upon myself and how much i needed u...
but im sure... i would change juz to get another chance from u...

chances are not given by ppl.. its by how u fight for it....
im willing to fight for that chance... the slight chance uve given me...
gonna sleep now...

miss u baby girl...

-KayLix-

my hands wanted to msg u...

my heart wanted to give u a call...

my night today seemed reall really long...

knowing that u do not want me to bother u stops me from doing all that...

this is hard...

i wanted to respect ur decision yet i have to stop myself from doing all the things u do not want

me to... this is so hard and im still trying my very best...

i do not want this relationship that we had will juz end here...

my life isnt that great without u...

and others will think that.. come on..

why be stupid so stupid? to me all this worth it...

and i hope there would be another chance for us...

yes it is indeed right that humans do not appreciate what they have until the day they lost it...

im really sorry for what ive said and did...

i do not know who to go to now...

in a sudden, i felt that im all alone without u..

yea.. others might think.. u can goo to ur frens... but this relationhsip isnt bout them and me...

is about the one i love and myself...

i do not want to go to them and bother them....

and as well i do not want to bother u...

im feeling so bad now...

i guess u might be having even a worse day....

hearing that u said u wanted me to leave u alone brought tears to my eyes...

hearing that this is the choice is the worst feelings i can get...

i cant seems to do anything right...

all i have in my mind is just u...

how bad ive treated u....

words ive said to u....

sorry may not work now but im jus sorry...

i just cant seems to forgive myself...

i just cant seems to let myself take a break....

yes... i might be stupid talking to a blog...

but i realli do love u...

and i do not appreciate the love uve given to me

ive suspected the love u gave to me

ive suspected the trust uve gave to me...

i failed not oni myself...

i failed u... causing u to tears for me....

cry for someone who doesnt worth it at all...

im jus sorry and i love u

...

tried to sleep but i cant.. hehe..
i see pictures of u inside my mind..
but its okay.. in awhile ill go do my assignment...
den back to sleep.. waking up feeling better..
but ill still miss u.. i hope ull miss me too

=D

Today

today is finally here...
i wish there would be a "hi" from u
n everynight there would be a "nights" from u
i still fail to love after all..
i failed to be who u realli needs..
i failed bcuz i juz take things for granted?
i failed to be a part of ur happi moments..
i failed to love u for who u are..
i failed to love..

i first thought i knew how..
but in the end..
its just the same me..
a failure..
a stubborn..
a hard-necked..
a hot-tempered..
a selfish..
person juz like who i used to be...
saying tat i will change..
is juz another word..
another lie from me actually??

i wan u to love me back..
to give me another chance..
but whats the use??
i don even dare to talk to u..
cuz of everything ive done..
to u.. to ur feelings..
im not regretting for what ive done..
i juz hate me for being me..
unable to love some whom i can tell them "i love u"
mayb its juz a word to me instead of my actions...
i hate.. myself.. for being myself...

this day has arrived and i know..
the decision had been made..
the hurt had been made..
the wrong stuff had been shown..

and finally,
this love.. had already come to an end..

-KayLix-

nothing's gonna change my love for u

if i had to live my life without u near me
my days will be all empty
my night seem so long
with u i see forever o so clearly
i might had been in love before
but i nvr felt this strong

our dream are young and we both know
they'll take us where we wana go
hold me now touch me now
i don wana live without u

nothing's gonna change my love for u
u ought to know by now how much i love u
there's one thing u can be sure of
ill never ask for more than ur love
nothings gonna change my love for u
u ought to know by now how much i love u
the world may change my whole life through
but nothing's gonna change my love for u

if the road ahead is not so easy
our love will lead the way for us
jus like a guiding star
ill be here for u if should need me
u don have to change a thing
i love u juz the way u are

our dream are young and we both know
they'll take us where we wana go
hold me now, touch me now
i DON wana live my life without u

nothing's gonna change my love for u
u ought to know by now how much i love u
there 1 thing u can be sure of
ill nvr ask for more than ur love
nothing's gonna change my love for u
u ought to know by now how much i love u
the world may change my whole life through
but nothing's gonna change my love for u.........

CHoices

i've got no choice now but to respect every decision you make...
i wana hold u back.. but i don know...
i cant seems to do it... u asked me to respect ur decision and juz leave u...
to me.. that is something really hard.... but...
i still have to bear with your decision... its not that i cant make anything decision but
im beyond words to say or actions to do...
now.. ive lost almost everything...

ive lost trust from my best buddy...
ive lost you...

u told me tat u wana leave me cuz u are not good enuf for me...
i don know....
as i returned home... tears juz flew down my cheeks non stop...

now, ive lost a part of me...
looking at our photographs.... makes me thinks even more...
the chance ive lost might never come back again....
the one ive lost might nvr come back again....

i juz wondering when will that day come.. again...
i doesnt want u to worry for me...

i hope and pray that ull hav a happier day ahead with whatever may come...
and what matters is.. i love u... i love u... telling the blog doesnt make a diff...
but who can i tell it to???

ends here

-KayLix-

affections

yes.. i get affections from kisses hugs etc etc etc etc......
something i can feel n touch... not by words alone can give me affection....

brainwash

mayb ur juz brainwashed by those fucked up frens of urs....
everything is ok one....
why ur bf like tat one...
chill la... still young... now don play when play???
lie oni mar.. wont find out one.....

Give 100 Take 100

i believe in karma.. certainly.. we will get back what we did before.. its juz a matter of time and when.. and i certainly believes the things that come back are times heavier...

my blog is a place where it can finish listening what i wana talk before giving me any feedbacks..
or telling me "u dun und me"

if my blog were to question me b4 i fnish, i would certainly throw back a question "did u try to und me" if u say u did... I HAVE NOT COMPLETE WHAT I SAY YET... stop thinking bout what other ppl wants from u.. i certainly can take care of myself... juz that i do not like to express my feelings to anyone... except my gf... but the answer i got is... "u dun und me"

so why express?? might as well i stuff the whole boulder into my mouth and make it another meal of mine.???? i tot a partner is sum1 who offers understanding.. a naive tot i have there...
no manner what i tried to say, in the end ill juz get "ur trying to prove me wrong" or shits like tat... why express??? did u even try to digest my sentence before u wana comment???
its not tat i do not trust u... i trust u... totally... and there only juz questions running thru my mind... and is there any harm to ask u??? muz u get so irritated to explain few more times???
u talk bout patience.. u ask from me.. wheres urs???? i promise not to fat lan ja anymore.. i did not.. no matter how angry i am... ill juz say for her ill let it go the other way... to love her... and what... she say i need time to reconsider this... i scared i hurt u more...... do u think that u leave me 1 day that'll make me happier?? if u think so.. so pretending that u und me so much...

IF U EVER TRIED TO UNDERSTAND ME, YOU'VE NOT LIED TO ME... BECAUSE I ALWAYS BELIEVE TRUTHFULNESS COMES FIRST.... if u dun have the intention to protect urself first, why lie??? aint i correct?? u said that u don wan me to tulan... think back, if im tulan, WHO KENA? u lar....! don tell me tat ur trying to PROTECT ME PLS ND THANKS... prevent urself from kena-ing??

ok there might be another way of thinking this... u don wan anything to happen in this relastionship.. tats y u choose to lie... but i ask, aint relationship bout trust??? if u cant find any similarity between TRUST n TRUTH... den ive got ntg to say....

and what, u said that i treat u like ************ if i am sum1 who doesnt care bout u... heck will i give a damn and get emo bout it.. why waste energy if i dun care bout u????

and when im trying to ask n explain something "u dun und... u dun trust.." is the word ill ever get... have u ever considered urself as understanding???? if u said u love me n ur willing to give so much... yes i can see it... not as clear... 50% 50% perhaps??? even if i ask in a good mood.. being questioned like tat will spoil my mood as well.... mayb its juz my own freaking fault... cuz i love u too much??? cuz i wan u to much???? cuz i am realli hunger for u too much???? cuz i need u everytime i see u too much??? i don know... what can i do more to love u..... ive tried to give every inch of me... yes... there might still be space for me to love u.... but... do i have the strength to do so?????? do i dare to do so??????

and i doesnt wish tat karma applies to those i love.......

ends here
-KayLix-

Love

Love..
Once you get it..
you'll want more of it..
the hungrier you are..
the fuller u get..
if we both still love each other..
why let go??
sounds unpractical here
why not let LOVE guide the way??
why care bout the hurts,
but not the happiness..?
is 2 people getting together..
feeling so comfortable..
side by side...
aint that feeling nice??
of course...
TROUBLES.. MAY come..
but what is troubles??
isn't it true that TROUBLES..
makes us grow..
a stronger person..
a smarter person..
a successful person..

or the other way,
the weaker person...
why not be the strong one??
why not look positively??
isn't it unfair when 2 people in love,
and they cant be with each other?
isn't it sad that LOVE cant be the only way?
why not let the sun shine for us?
instead of us looking for artificial lights everywhere?
must love be so practical??
must love be so calculative??
must love be so negative??

No.. It must not....

so lets wait upon the sunny day to shine again... it might be raining or a cloudy day now...
So lets wait together... get cold in the rain together... stay under the dark clouds together...
hoping that the sun will shine SOON...

its impossible for the sun not to shine tho.. =P

ends here

-KayLix-